Donkin Life

Panda Tactical Sniper II

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:33:00 +0000

Rob's new panda game is up and running. It's in the beta stage at the moment, available only here on Bubblebox. com for a few days before it will be released to the web.

The first version of the game mentioned here has registered more than 2 million plays since it was launched in October.

He goes back to Lille University today where he seems to be finding the time to work on these games. Who know's, it may be the beginning of a career?

How to make a tasty blokes' curry

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 19:15:00 +0000

Donkin's keema madras
Have just had a seriously good blokes' curry. What is a blokes' curry you may ask? Well, a blokes' curry is a curry that a bloke can make without too much trouble.

The key to this kind of curry is that it does not involve precise ingredients - always a turn off for blokes. But there are no short cuts either and it's best to start this kind of curry a couple of days before you are going to eat it. Delia Smith never tells you this stuff, but it matters.

What you need: Meat. Obviously meat is the most important bit and the best meat for curries is lamb, beef or chicken. Goat is good too but I don't know where to get goat. Game works well, also. But for this one - Donkin's keema madras - we're going to use minced beef.

So first buy your minced beef. I bought a kilo - two 500gm boxes on offer at Waitrose. The exact quantity doesn't matter but obviously you need a decent amount as no bloke will thank you for short measures.

Other ingredients:

Cumin seed,
Cardamon pods,
Turmeric,
Ginger root,
2 tins of tomatoes
one or two onions
one or two cloves of garlic
juice of half to one lemon
Teaspoon of Marmite
Oxo Cube
Garam Masala
one or two chili peppers

For a bit of class get some fresh coriander leaves for right at the end (therefore easily forgotten, but no matter)

You will also need one big deep pan with a lid and one good-sized frying pan.

First peel and chop your onions, peel and mash your garlic and chop the chili. You may want to start conservatively with the chili, adding a bit more if needed. Stick some olive oil in a pan (you could use Ghee which is probably better but I have never bothered to buy any) and heat it. Now shake about a teaspoon or so of cumin seeds in the pan and fry them for a minute or so on quite a hot ring, but don't burn them. Now add the onions, garlic and peppers and fry them, stirring with a wooden spoon or spatula until they're soft.

Now stick that lot in the big pan and stick your mince in to the empty frying pan. Fry the mince until it is brown.

While you are doing that, crack open a couple of tins of tomatoes and stick them in to the big pan (I know this is bordering on multi-tasking but come on guys, you can do it).

At the same time you could also be pummeling the cardamon seeds (a few, say 12 to 15, it doesn't matter) with the mortar and pestle. This is a bit fiddly because you have to remove the pod casings and leave the seeds which you then grind up. This bit is quite satisfying because you feel like a real cook. Then stick the ground-up pod seeds in to the big pan.

By this time the browned mince will be ready to go in to the big pan too. The rest is straightforward. All the ingredients from now on go in to the big pan. You could start washing the frying pan if you want to be really organised. But don't forget to juice half a lemon and stick that in. Now grate some ginger - about the size of your thumb - and stick that in. Add some turmeric - about a spoon, the Marmite and the Oxo cube if you think it merits (it's not going to spoil it one way or t'other.)

Now bring the whole lot to the boil on a low light, adding a bit of water if it's needed. Cook for a while but don't leave it to burn. The lid will help here.

Now - and this is the really important bit - leave the mix to cool and leave it for at least 24-hours. If you're going to leave it for longer - and that would be no bad thing - stick it in the fridge to be safe (once it has cooled).

Leaving your curry for some time allows the spices to permeate and flavour the meat and takes some of the bite and sharpness from the chilis. After the first cook you could do a taste test and add a bit more lemon and chili if you think it's needed. But remember, not everyone might like it quite as thumping hot as some blokes claim they do.

The next day or the day after that, when you're ready to eat your blokes' curry. Get some naan bread or chapatis and/or some basmati rice and cook or heat them/it (it only takes a few minutes). But first heat your curry thoroughly for maybe 20 minutes to half an hour. Just have it simmering over a low light and stir occasionally to stop it sticking to the bottom of the pan. Give it a taste as well. Chop some coriander leaves and stick them in before serving (or add them on the plate for colour if you don't mind being a bit girly) with a sprinkling of garam masala.

Now heat some bowls up, get some blokes along (ideally) to eat the curry, a few beers, and enjoy.

A Christmas tip: the same ingredients work well with Turkey leftovers.

Another cook's tip: if you happen to have a few leftovers in the fridge, stick those in too.

For a really professional job you could stir up some chopped cucumbers with natural yoghurt, sliced onions and tomatoes as a side dish or add some chutney and popadoms, but this might be asking a lot if it's your first time. Once you have the ingredients, however, you're equipped to make blokes' curries whenever you want.

The man drawer

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 10:03:00 +0000

I have just been watching Michael McIntyre's latest CD which would make a great Christmas gift for a mum or dad if you happen to be stuck for something. McIntyre seems to be popular with the whole family.

His humour is observational and one of his best routines discusses the "man drawer". All men seem to have them once they enter a long term relationship. It's the drawer they manage to get for themselves when their partner has grabbed all the others, says McIntyre here.

My father had one in which he kept his pipes, handkerchiefs and various keepsakes. I remember it smelled of tobacco. It was a drawer you visited as a child when you were "routing," or poking about for things.

I don't recall consciously establishing one. That's the thing about a man drawer - it just sort of happens. Mine does not look like this which is more of a bits drawer. I have things like that in the garage.

No, the true man drawer is a mixture of things that says something about your character. Because it is a man drawer it must have important items such as, in my case, passports and driving licence. It also has potentially useful items: bicycle clips, shoe horn, a football boot stud, cuff links, bands that hold your sleeves up, gas lighter (I don't smoke), a ball of string, assorted garters and handkerchiefs, compasses, money belt, pen knives, travel plug adaptors, ear plugs, garden ties and labels, bow ties and old keys.

McIntyre mentions old keys too. Why do we keep them? I guess they are symbolic in some way of power. The key opens things to which we are otherwise denied access. The problem is that we no longer have any idea what these things might be. But the key, nevertheless, maintains its sense of mystery and relevance. Perhaps that's what we're seeking to do as men.

The man drawer is a kind of grown up security blanket. I find that looking inside it has a calming effect. But the opposite can happen too, if something is not there. So you err on the side of caution and deposit things there, "just in case."

As McIntyre says, there are instructions for things long gone and there are treasures too. But these are man treasures. Some of these treasures such as my father's and grandfathers' war medals recall past deeds of men. They are rightly treasures. But others, such as the African seed pod and the squashed cent from the Empire State building are there, well, because they are and always will be.

Men shouldn't have to justify their man drawer. It's there and that's the end of it. When women have taken over the world it may be the last survivor of our masculinity. All we stand for, all we shall ever be, all we are and all we need - in a drawer.

Conspicuous consumption

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:57:00 +0000

Sometimes we need to see it to believe it.

Dead letter box

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:58:00 +0000

Many years ago at the start of my career in journalism I worked on the Morley Observer, a weekly newspaper that, for reasons of economy, was based in Batley where it shared offices and sometimes pages with the Batley News.

The editor of both newspapers at the time was Keith Hustler, an odd man, as editors sometimes are. Shaking his pale, slender hand was like introducing yourself to a dead herring, except that herrings have more body.

He gave me my first job in journalism then very quickly regretted it when I became active in the trade union. It would be fair to say that we didn't get on.

I remember we were discussing game shooting once and he told me he had shot a pheasant with an air pistol at close range. It didn't surprise me.

I would have described the newspapers' readership profile in the 1970s as middle-aged to ageing, conservative and traditional, the sort of people you can rely on to run the Boy Scouts or to turn out to the church or chapel at Whitsuntide. The births, marriages and deaths columns was meat and drink to this readership.

Unfortunately our readers did not write the liveliest letters and Hustler decided one day that we needed to liven up the letters column so asked his reporters if we could come up with some ideas, posing as readers.

I wrote a letter describing how I thought cremations and burials were something of a waste of a useful resource and that a better idea after death would be to convert people's remains to compost so that they could be ploughed in to the ground. This would be fine for me, I wrote.

It was insensitive, crass and in poor taste - so right up the editor's street. He published it, then published the angry responses the following week. I take no pride from this small episode in my past but the sentiments were genuine, if crudely expressed. I do like the idea of woodland burials.

Now, however, I have discovered that the idea was ahead of its time. There is a company out there willing to turn us in to compost if we so wish. Promessa offers what it calls an "ecological burial".

I came across it in this list of bizarre death related facts. The list includes a process offered by LifeGem that can turn us in to synthetic diamonds. Perhaps I should send it to the Batley News.

The one and only Noah Donkin

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 21:39:00 +0000

It must feel good to be unique and, as far as I know, my great nephew, Noah, is on his own as the only Noah Donkin on the planet. If not the planet, then certainly the internet.

I met him today for the first time - he's the one on the right. The other is his proud dad, my nephew Matthew. I knew Matt was interested in rugby union but hadn't realised until today that he had started a blog, Life of Sport, that I have flagged in the right hand column.

He knows far more about rugby than I do so I will keep the link as a sort of sports section. His latest blog mentions that Leeds United made a £4.5m profit last year. Well that's a turn up for the books. Let's hope they use it to buy a player or two. They're going to need them if they hope to get back in the Championship.

Writers' rooms

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:22:00 +0000

One thing I noticed about these writers' rooms photographed by Eamonn McCabe is the size of them. They're not all large but each of them is larger than the hole I call my office. Another thing I noticed is that only two of the rooms had sit-up-and-beg computers. The rest had either lap tops or typewriters. My computer dominates the hole far too much.

I wouldn't swap my Herman Miller chair for any I see here, however, even though it does have a fault so that at various times it will suddenly jerk me backwards, which always produces a gasp of alarm. I quite like the excitement of these surprises and the family has become used to hearing disembodied cries from the office as the chair goes again.

Fire in the Taj Mahal hotel

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:32:00 +0000

It was sad to see the fire sweeping through the Taj Mahal Palace hotel in Mumbai today. I stayed there more than 10 years ago. It really is one of the world's great hotels.

I remember the large rooms overlooking the water front. When you opened the window you were met by a blast of fetid air, a mixture of salt water and the sweat of those in the streets below.

Inside was luxury and opulence but to step outside the doorway was to re-enter the reality of Mumbai with people sleeping and living on the pavement. Anywhere else it would be tempting to think that such contrasts would be a source of resentment but the people of Mumbai were incredibly tolerant. I suppose they had to be to live together in such numbers.

It is too early to know much about the perpetrators of the attacks but I hope - if they prove to be muslim - that it does not lead to the kind of anti-muslim riots that have erupted in Mumbai in the past.

Bees do it

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:47:00 +0000

As far as the health of the planet is concerned the human race is less significant than bees and plankton according to a recent Earthwatch debate in London.

Earthwatch has been running these balloon-style debates for a few years now where academics take the platform at the Royal Geographical Society and argue in favour of a particular environmental cause or species.

This time the voting audience had to rank bees, bats, primates (including us), fungi and plankton in order of their importance to the environment. Prof David Thomas almost won the day with plankton but George McGavin swung it for bees with an argument that highlighted the plight of declining bee numbers, globally.

A quarter of a million species of flowering plants depend on bees. Many of these plant species are crucial to world agriculture. Forget your apples and oranges without bees. Some bee populations are in trouble yet a world without them would be "totally catastrophic," said McGavin.

It's good to know where we come in Earth's pecking order. I can't say I was surprised to discover that humans came behind plankton. In my experience it's not always easy to tell them apart.

If, like me, you missed the debate, there's a chance to catch it on BBC Radio Four at 8pm, New Year's Eve.

The picture here shows bees winning a previous debate.

Killjoys

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 15:38:00 +0000

I opened my Daily Telegraph this morning to a breathtaking picture of a canoeist sliding 300ft down the spillway at Llyn Brianne reservoir in Carmarthenshire, Wales.

The best bit about it was that there was none of the usual "it shouldn't be allowed" condemnation from some petty official. Not that I thought for one moment it would be condoned by the water authority.

And no, it wasn't. By the time a clip appeared here on the BBC website there was a spokesman for Welsh Water saying: "Reservoirs can be dangerous for various reasons and those involved in water sports in inappropriate locations, such as at Llyn Brianne, put themselves and others at unnecessary risk."

No they don't. They put themselves at risk. No-one else need be involved. Reservoirs can be dangerous. Rivers can be dangerous; life can be dangerous thank goodness. That's what makes it worth living.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if just once someone in authority spoke out and said: "This is a wonderful facility for canoeists and thrill seekers. As long as they understand the obvious risks involved we welcome their use of our reservoir in this way."

So what will happen now? Expect warning signs, barbed wire, barriers, CCTV, prosecutions, legal threats and everything else that revels in making life dull and tawdry. The way our society approaches those with a sense of adventure is simply pathetic.

Quantum of Frolics

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:00:00 +0000

OK, tons of action, Parkour, flying roof tiles, even a stylish martini, but is Quantum of Solace the Bond we all know and love?

It had lots of good stuff, great locations and bags of atmosphere. I loved the opera scene. But what the hell was it about?

George and Rob have drawn up a seven-point checklist for future Bond productions and looking at this amusing YouTube mash-up they are not alone in their bewilderment:

1. The planet needs to be threatened by some kind of mega death ray. In this one the greedy villain is threatening us with a water shortage at the risk of doubling our utility bills. We've had something like that already this year for real.

2. Where has the witty quip gone after someone is dispatched? The new Bond hardly says anything.

3. Gadgets: where have they gone? What have they done to Q?

4. What has happened to the physically deformed villains with horrific scars, burns, etc?

5. Why can't Bond keep himself reasonably clean? His shirts look like a "before" scene in a Persil ad - blood, sweat, grime, all kinds of difficult stains.

6. Iconic Bond music must be before, during and at the end of the film.

7. For goodness sake he has to get the girl.

"We appreciate that you are trying to make Bond more realistic and believable," say the boys. "But please don't! James Bond is not a hardened killer; he is a warm character who is both comical and light hearted. We don't want Bond to be serious and completely realistic; we already have someone doing that in films. He's called Jason Bourne. James Bond is supposed to be far fetched and fun, not realistic and terrifyingly ruthless. Sort it out!"

Huns, wops and dagos at the palace

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:58:00 +0000

Edward Stourton, the BBC Today programme presenter, has recalled in his new book, It's a PC World, a conversation he had with the late Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother, about the European Union.

She told him: "It will never work, you know....It will never work with all those Huns, wops and dagos."

While he thought what she said was "nasty and ugly," concluding she was "a nasty old bigot," he has sought subsequently to put the remark in context, arguing that "The Queen Mother came from a generation when people did talk like that."

Ethnic groups

No, Mr Stourton, they didn't all talk like that. I cannot recall any of my grandparents using those words. Certainly my parents never used them. I recall once, when very young, asking my mother what the words "Wogs go home," meant. I had seen them daubed on a bridge. My mother simply said that "wog" was a nasty word for "coloured people".

It's true that her generation did not try to make politically correct references that distinguished people from different ethnic backgrounds, hence the "coloured" reference. I remember it was a problem in local newspapers. At the Huddersfield Examiner discussions with local ethnic groups led to a policy of referring to the two main ethnic groups as "black" or "Asian" and I have stuck with that ever since, never feeling quite comfortable with phrases such as "Afro Caribbean" or "Afro American".

Tar brush

I would love to report that the most derogatory terms had been abandoned but I still hear such words occasionally today among the older generation. I have one shooting friend, a contemporary, who refers to black people as "jigaboos" and another who suggested jokingly to a slightly dark skinned mutual friend that there was a "bit of the tar brush" about him.

I suppose that certain "naming" to denote racial difference will be something we shall always have to live with. I have heard it argued that those black people who voted for Barack Obama principally because of his race were being racist in their choice. If so, could this be an acceptable defence of racism in certain circumstances? I can understand any black American choosing Obama for historical reasons.

Royal form

I wasn't at all surprised to hear about the Queen Mother's language. The royals have form, particularly her son-in-law.

Some of Prince Philip's less than PC remarks have been collected in a book of gaffs that includes the following:

* To a British student in China: "If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes."
* To a British student in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
* To a British tourist in Hungary: "You can't have been here that long — you haven't got a pot belly."
* To a Scottish driving instructor: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
* To Australian Aborigines: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"
* While on a factory tour, looking at a crude electrical fitting, he suggested it might have been "installed by an Indian."

Funnily enough the Duke of Edinburgh is so broadly politically incorrect that at least he can claim consistency. I have met him a couple of times and can confirm that he behaves the same with everyone. In fact I'm sure his children have suffered his tongue and Prince Charles probably more than the rest, which would explain why Jonathan Dimbleby's authorised biography of Charles portrayed the duke as an authoritarian bully.

Whatever the truth of this, I can imagine Prince Philip would have hit it off with his mother-in-law. They spoke the same language.

The world's best toy

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:06:00 +0000

It costs nothing, it's available practically everywhere in the world outside the polar regions and the Sahara, and has amused children probably for the whole of human history.

What is this marvellous toy? It's the stick. Americans have recognised its ubiquity as a play thing by voting it in to the US National Toy Hall of Fame in New York.

It must have those people at Hasbro and Mattel gnashing their teeth. As far as I know, there has not been an attempt yet to market sticks beyond those you can buy for walking and wading.

Prototypes

Yet this has to be the world's best toy. I don't think I went anywhere as a child without finding a stick. My own kids did the same. It started with looking around for something appropriate. One or two prototypes might be considered for a while then discarded, then you found something that was just the job.

What was "the job"? What is the limit of your imagination? The stick must be the ultimate multifunctional tool/toy. Gun, bat, staff, spear, bow, fishing rod, twiddler, swinger, prop, prodder, tripper, brodler - it could be all of these things. You couldn't be Little John or Robin Hood without your stick.

Pooh sticks

You couldn't be much of a boy scout without your stick either. The stick made Sir Donald Bradman in to the greatest cricketer of his generation. His hand-eye co-ordination was sharpened as a child by continually hitting a ball against a wall with a stick. It inspired the writer, A A Milne (pooh sticks)and helped make Tommy Cooper a magician "Juss like that!"

An earlier inclusion in the hall of fame was the cardboard box (invented in the UK in 1817). It seems odd to think that men who fought at the Battle of Waterloo (1815) had never seen cardboard boxes although they were familiar with wooden boxes and chests.

Christmas boxes

I was surprised to find that the simple ball is not yet on the list. For next year's inclusion, however, I would like to cast my vote for string.

I reckon you could have an excellent Christmas Day as a youngster if Santa was to bring you some sticks, a ball, some string and a few boxes. Come to think of it he usually does bring string and boxes. What would Christmas be without them?

Poppy Day

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:48:00 +0000

As we walked towards the entrance of Wisley garden yesterday a woman was ringing a handbell - the sort they once used in school playgrounds. It was 11 am and everyone stood in silence for two minutes to observe the act of remembrance.

Afterwards a young couple congratulated their five or maybe six-year-old daughter for keeping still and quiet. It was an opportunity for them to explain what must have seemed an odd thing to happen for a curious youngster.

It's good that people are doing this. Few of us standing there would have had much experience of war, but all of us have grown up with its consequences and most of us have indirect experiences through either parents, grandparents or great grandparents.

Broken branches

Few Germans, indeed, will be able to track back their family trees without finding broken branches from family deaths in one of the world wars.

War must have touched every nation in some way. For this reason in our connected world I wonder if Remembrance Day should be harmonized internationally around the red poppy symbol. If the charitable link were to be maintained through the British Legion, that benefits from poppy sales, there would need to be a rethink around charitable aims. I, for one, would welcome part of my charitable donation being used to help, for example, land mine victims, globally.

Talking to various friends abroad through the internet yesterday it was clear that while many nations do observe remembrance days there is not always the same act of intensity around the ritual as we experience in the UK. In France and Belgium, few people wear poppies. In Germany there is Volkstrauertag, a day of national mourning, but it does not seem to be linked with charity giving to help those injured through warfare.

Anzac Day

The Australians and New Zealanders understandably focus their remembrance ceremonies around Anzac Day, but November 11 seems somehow appropriate. It was a defined end to what was recognised as the first world war, what some, idealistically described as the war to end all wars.

There will come a time when the word "remembrance" itself begins to lose its meaning but a degree of contemplation around the destructiveness and sacrifice in war is worth this tiny annual "time out" in our lives.

White poppy

I don't think the white poppy is appropriate because, while it stands for the admirable aim of "world peace", it loses that linkage of memory and respect for those who gave their lives out of a sense of duty even, in many cases, after they had grown tired and disillusioned with any greater cause.

Remembrance of war also reminds us of the good things that flourish in conflict - a sense of purpose, comradeship, community that are often abandoned or lost afterwards. War can bring out the worst in people but we should never forget that it it can bring out the best in people too.

Obama's win

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 01:04:00 +0000

What it means.

The bald truth

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:58:00 +0000

I'm 51 - long past the age for a mid-life crisis but I was patting my hair this afternoon like you do. Don't you pat your hair? No, I'm not sure I do very often either which is probably why I was surprised to find that there didn't seem much to pat.

"My hair seems to be going a bit thin on top," I said to Gill. "Yes there's not much there now," she said. "Your bald patch is showing like a tonsure these days."

Is it? This came as a surprise to me. I tried to look at the back of my head in the wardrobe mirror, turning as I did like a dog chasing its tale, then bending backwards like a limbo dancer. This explained everything. You can't see the back of your head. It's unfamiliar territory.

So I found another small mirror and did the thing that barbers do when they show off their handy work after cutting your hair. It made me realise how clever my barber has been. He must hold the mirror at such an angle that it only shows the lower head hair and not the shiny round skating-rink on top.

The thing is that there is still a bit of hair on the crown so it feels hairy rather than polished. But the inspection revealed more pink than grey. It's definitely going.

The great thing is that this is no big deal. This isn't premature baldness. It's "about the right time" baldness which makes all the difference. I don't feel the need to shave it all off like some younger blokes I know. But it's left me wondering about future trips to the barber's: at what stage can you ask for concessions?

Palin big in Niue

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 11:10:00 +0000

Well I voted for Barack Obama along with 758,041 others in the world who had no direct stake in the outcome of the US election. That's not quite true since 275,000 of those who voted in this internet poll live in the United States.

But that still leaves nearly 600,000 people in other parts of the world who chipped in their vote. Just over 868,000 voted in total. Of those 110,000 voted for John McCain (12.7 per cent). The rest (87.3 per cent) went for Obama.

In the US 80 per cent went for Obama and 20 per cent for McCain. The big difference between these figures and the contestants' respective shares of the actual popular vote - 53 per cent Obama, 46 per cent McCain - is the internet demographic.

Net generation

I don't have the figures for that but we can assume that a big majority of those who were voting in the online poll were part of the "net generation" - younger people who grew up with the internet.

It was also interesting, looking at the breakdown of national votes, to see the relatively large number of voters in Portugal (as large as that in the UK), a country where English is the second language. Some 118,000 voted in Canada and 60,000 in Australia. This is not a bad way of gauging US influence around the world.

This says some significant things as far as I can see: First, Obama's campaign made a massive impact all around the world; second, young people believe in this man; third what happens in US politics matters to non-Americans.

Statistical aberration

OK, so he may have a few continuing foreign policy issues with Venezuela (41 per cent republican), Albania (51 per cent) and Macedonia (84 per cent) - I will overlook Niue (100 per cent) since I had never heard of the place and the one person who voted may be a statistical aberration (I bet he or she has never been called that before).

Reading up on Niue, it looks as though its inhabits may be best left alone as they were, mostly, for 200 years by passing sailors who called the place "Savage Island."

I have another idea, if Sarah Palin is thinking of running in 2012 she should run in Niue instead, or Macedonia or Albania. She'd be welcome there.....if she can find her way.

Vote for a president

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 23:17:00 +0000

So how would you vote? Some interesting results if you look at Macedonia and Venezuela.

Webside Gleanings

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:08:00 +0000

One of the great things about the web is coming across interesting sites that defy the best attempts to categorise. You could spend hours here at Keith Tolstoy's Webside Gleanings and I suspect I will. I have included a link to the site in my right hand links list.

Radical ambitions? Forget politics and find God

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:05:00 +0000

Some of the arguments trotted out at yesterday's Battle of Ideas event in London (mentioned here) were a little bit too complex for me.

There were shades of the old left in a debate called "Radicalism then and now: the legacy of 1968." But that was a good thing. There isn't much "left and right" posturing in British politics anymore. Instead we all flounder around the gooey middle.

The idea was to hark back with nostalgia to the revolutionary fervour of the late 1960s. It didn't matter, I suppose, that not all the panel were there at the time. At least Tony Elliott, founder and chairman of the Time Out Group (founded in 1968) was there and just to prove it he was wearing a flowery shirt.

Airfix and The Beano

I was there, but only in short pants. I was making Airfix models at the time. My radicalism was informed by reading the Beano and watching the Likely Lads on TV.

But what was so radical about carrying a copy of the Little Red Book and wearing a Che Guevara tee shirt? The problem with British student protests in the late 1960s is that the issues were elsewhere. Our boys were not in Vietnam.

The stakes were far higher for those who enjoyed a brief taste of political freedom in the Prague Spring. The Czechs really did have a cause.

Cushy radicalism

A lot of the British protest was what I would call "cushy radicalism" made possible by student grants, easy living and the knowledge that our policemen carried truncheons, not guns.

No, as Elliott argued, the late 60s in Britain were more about a revolution in fashions, ideas and attitudes. The swinging sixties were all about Mary Quant, the miniskirt, pop art and sexual freedom. Yes there were demonstrations led by Tariq Ali but if you wanted a real sense of radicalism you would have to have lived in Northern Ireland.

Thatcher, a true radical

I don't see much radicalism in British politics today either, nothing to match that of Margaret Thatcher. Now she was a true radical.

The real radicalism today exists outside politics in religion: in radical Islam, radical Christianity and radical Judaism. If radicalism is your bent today, forget politics and find God.

French stick

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 10:30:00 +0000

Our middle son, Rob, was home briefly for his 22nd birthday at the weekend. He set off back to Lille, where he's studying for a year, laden with two heavy bags.

It was just a five minute walk from the station to his campus room but on the way he was relieved of his iPod and his mobile phone by a mugger.

"I didn't really know what was happening at first. This guy was asking me for my papers," he said. Rob called for help when the mugger began shoving him about but no-one came to his aid even though there were plenty of people about - it all happened in broad daylight.

He couldn't fight back because of the heavy bags hung around his shoulders. "Besides the guy could have had a knife," he said. Rob is understandably angry and feeling somewhat jaundiced against the French. But the same could have happened on any street.

I know from bitter experience how upsetting this sort of thing is. You're being attacked in a public place with people all around you and, with rare exceptions, people don't help. It's the world we live in. At least he came to no physical harm and we're all thankful for that.

Something for the weekend

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 11:33:00 +0000

I don't know which is worse - day after day of ever more worrying financial headlines or the unedifying behaviours of celebrities that have crowded this week's news in the UK.

I do know that continuing fighting in the Democratic Republic of Congo should be dominating discussions among world leaders just now. According to some estimates as many as 5m lives have been lost in this troubled country over the past 40 years. The factional fighting in eastern Congo is symptomatic of the conflicts ravaging Africa in which the western powers are reluctant to intervene (it never stopped them in the days of empire and it does not stop western mining interests today).

Chattering classes

Sadly, we live in a self-absorbed materialist world that has far more enthusiasm for debating the rights and wrongs of a BBC radio broadcast, than it has to debate a solution for the troubles in Africa. After all, the chattering classes need something other than house prices for the pudding course.

Do I think Jonathan Ross is talented? Yes. Do I think he is overpaid? Vastly. Do I think he should be fired? Without doubt. Do I think the BBC has lost its way? Yes. Do I think Andrew Sachs was right to feel offended? Of course. Do I think his granddaughter stands to make a small fortune by carefully exploiting the celebrity earnings potential of all this publicity through the well-paid advice of Max Clifford? Yes, in less time than it takes me to say Jade Goody.

Do I believe that the real tragedy of this story is that it exposes our society's distorted value system? I do and I don't think I am stretching credulity to say that weakening values have created an alarming moral vacuum in Western society that continues to be exploited by Islamic extremism.

Mosque sermons

It's not the reason behind such extremism, but it makes it more difficult for Islamic parents in western countries to impose their own value systems within their families when they see them undermined in this way.

We have seen the BBC stories in the British press but few of us in the UK will be exposed to the way such behaviours are condemned in Friday afternoon mosque sermons. Of course, there will be sermonising in all religions over this affair. But not all will have the potential to feed the disaffected minds of young hot heads who may, too readily, allow themselves to fall for the dangerous anti-western doctrine of Al-Qaeda.

One sermon does not an extremist make. It doesn't happen like that. The outrages of 9/11 and 7/7 were underpinned by drip-fed, hate-filled ideologies emerging initially from those who demanded Islamic states in Islamic lands. Britain is not an Islamic state but we know that Al-Qaeda's influence has taken root here.

Bomb victim

The leader of the 7/7 bombers, Mohammad Sidique Khan, had a middle class background, earning enough to make frequent trips to Pakistan and Afghanistan. He and his fellow bombers killed 52 innocent people that day in 2005 and one other indirectly. This was Jean Charles de Menenzes, whose inquest is being held this week.

Whatever the verdict of the inquest, whatever blame is directed at the armed police who shot him, de Menenzes was as much a victim of the bombings as those who died in the initial blasts.

If there was tragedy in that death, we can recognise heroism elsewhere in the George medal awarded to Royal Marine lance corporal Matthew Croucher who saved the lives of others and his own by throwing his body over a grenade as it was about to explode.

Servicemen and women have paid a high price fighting what George W Bush has called the "war against terror." They sign up for a life of active duty as an alternative to the frothy, shallow existence that characterises our gossipy obsession with celebrity.

Juvenile actions

It's difficult to set such heroism against the juvenile actions of Ross and his co-presenter Russell Brand who used valuable radio air time to such dismal effect.

Soldiers are not innocents. They have their own prejudices. But most of them do stand for something, even if, in some cases, it is little other than the laudable principle of fighting for your friends.

I couldn't see any principles, however, in the behaviours of Brand and Ross. Brand, at least, did one honorable thing and resigned. Ross has not even been capable of that, allowing managers to take the blame for his irresponsible actions.

Incredibly the BBC, even now, has yet to be convinced that it does not need these people, such is its attachment to a fickle and distracted "youf" audience. Ross is paid large sums because of his ability to connect with younger viewers.

Moral guidance

I'm not saying he should be dispatching moral guidance in every breath but he understands full well that some of the things he does are reprehensible, then does them anyway simply because he knows (or thinks) he can get away with it. Being outrageous has paid his wages. There should be no second chances this time.

Others have flown too close to the sun in the past. Remember Simon Dee, the former BBC presenter who abandoned his given name, Cyril Nicholas Henty-Dodd? If not, then perhaps I have made my point that contrition can go only so far.

Guilt fests

Meanwhile, when the dust has settled on this nasty little drama, much greater suffering in this world will continue to struggle for our attention. But perhaps we needn't worry about that until Children-in-Need and Comic Relief days when the luvvies, Ross included no doubt, will lead us in these perennial chuck-some-money-at-it guilt-assuaging fests.

No I'm certainly not blaming Jonathan Ross, the BBC and the rest of the media for Islamic terrorism. But I do think there is a link between Islamic intolerance and Western moral decline. Every terrible outrage demands that we hold a mirror to our own behaviours, actions and beliefs.

The BBC used to stand for something important and solid in our society that attracted and continues to attract the respect of foreign regimes. Its values used to be our values. It really is a power for good in this world but, with power, comes responsibility and that must be exercised judiciously. The second chance should be reserved for a rare lapse of taste. There was nothing rare about this one.

Russian oligarchs - a glossary of terms

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 10:04:00 +0000

Why do we only ever seem to hear of Russian oligarchs? What is an oligarch anyway and why aren't there British or American oligarchs?

If my dictionary is correct the definition that seems most applicable for its media use is: member of an oligarchy - a small clique of private citizens who exert a strong influence on government.

Who in the UK might fit that clique definition? I suppose government advisers and the heads of business and banking bodies could be said to be part of the British oligarchy. But we would never describe Mervyn King, governor of the Bank of England or Richard Lambert, director general of the Confederation of British Industry as oligarchs. Nor would we talk about a British oligarchy.

So there must be new connotations, new assumptions, associated with media use of the phrase "Russian Oligarch". Do I detect the whiff of corruption? Gangsterdom, even? I think so. I think that the phrase, as used in the popular press, has come to be regarded by some of us, possibly most of us, as a codeword, a euphemism, for "dodgy individual". That, I believe, is the intention of those who use it and the conclusion of those who read it.

So when we read allegations that George Osborne, the shadow chancellor, has been trying to solicit a Conservative Party donation from a Russian oligarch while enjoying hospitality on the oligarch's yacht we are being invited to interpret certain words and phrases.

For Russian Oligarch read: "rich and powerful but dodgy individual who gained his vast wealth by various nefarious means, including favours and patronage, but certainly not through hard work, scholarship and academic diligence."

For yacht read: "Expensive, lavish, decadent, wasteful, ostentatious luxury possession beyond the means of most people that today is even eschewed by Royalty, however reluctantly, as an unjustified drain on the privy purse." Do not, under any circumstances, read: "A boat with sails."

For Conservative Party read: "Grubby, nest feathering, opportunists prepared to sell their own grandmothers, not to mention hitherto strongly held principles based on thrift, hard work and individual freedoms, for a chance to line their party coffers."

For Corfu read: "Tacky Mediterranean haunt of new money, "celebrities", smooching politicians, gas-guzzling motor launches misleadingly described as "yachts" and the occasional Russian oligarch.

For George Osborne read: "Numpty."

Laughing baby

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:38:00 +0000

I had to see for myself what amused the Queen and 63m others. I see from the geekProject website (very much what it says on the tin) that the baby boy's name is William. I see also that the funny noises are an attempt to impersonate a microwave oven.

As someone commented on the Youtube web site, it's a pity he didn't have a rusk-company sponsored bib with pay-per-click advertising.

Poor lad. All this attention means that Fleet Street's finest are about to descend on his doorstep.

A few more seconds......

richard.donkin@gmail.com (Richard Donkin) — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 09:24:00 +0000

Rob has passed me some interesting statistics for his new game, Panda: Tactical Sniper, mentioned in earlier blogs below (Fifteen seconds of fame and Panda: Tactical Sniper).

In one day, yesterday, it was played 80,000 times bringing his worldwide play total to 190,000 since Monday. It has been played so far in 159 countries and has been hosted by 149 different web sites. Mochiads.com, the advertising company that concentrates on such games, awarded him its $100 game-of-the-week prize.

Malcolm Gladwell (discussed here) once wrote about something he called a "tipping point" in his book of the same name, noting the multiplying phenomenon when something takes off. But on today's web the tipping point rush is so rapid that it overwhelms like a wave and recedes just as rapidly.

There remains an issue of sustainability for such games but perhaps that is not important. No-one ever talked about sustainability in cigarette-card collecting or among playground games such as Pokemon cards (although Pokemon itself is still going). These things come and go but, in the meantime, Rob's target for this one is a million plays and he just might get it.