Hotel TV in Ulaanbaatar

Sitting in a Mongolian hotel bedroom I have been fascinated by the TV offerings. I flick to a Korean channel and there is a computer basketball match played out with three geeks on each side with excited commentary from a couple of chaps who are talking it through as if it is a real physical game.

Flick: women’s pool. Yes, women’s pool. Bring back curling.

Flick: a superhero elimination game on Star TV, complete with dramatic music and drum crescendos.

Various people are dressed up in superhero-style costumes. Commentary: “Let’s go to the ref. It’s time for elimination.” Cue drums etc.

People in capes, external underpants and silly helmets are standing on dramatically-lit boxes on some office rooftop when the camera switches to an older man – the judge - at a desk in an office somewhere.

He says: “The purpose of this show is to learn which candidate has all the qualities to be a superhero. Today we have been looking at the quality of self-sacrifice, something that no superhero can be without. But some of you have been less than generous.”

The camera switches to various contestants betraying sheepish looks. “Superheros would never sacrifice a fellow superhero,” says the sage-like judge who looks as if he would rather be tending his roses.

The camera switches to one of the contestants in a shiny helmet and the judge says: “Tyveculus, turn in your costume.” Other superheros give him a big hug and everyone cries.

Tyveculus puts his helmet in a dustbin that emits a puff of smoke.

The sage says: “Let’s all get some rest. We’ve come another step closer to immortalising one of you.”

I switch channels to a Mongolian balalaika player in a white hat with feathers who is playing and singing in a field to one of those audiences that looks as if it would rather be elsewhere. I know how they feel. This is Mongolian hotel TV.