Dope test
The Labour Party's confessional box was overflowing last week as cabinet ministers and MPs engaged in a collective purging of past indiscretions in smoking cannabis.
I couldn't help noticing that there was almost a formula to every confession. Typically it was something they "tried at university", suggesting that it was a few puffs of a spliff a long time ago that now, with maturity, they realise was a mistake and rather regretted.
As each sin was washed away in the sea of public indifference you could feel the envy of colleagues who had never tried the weed. Such is the cache attached to previous experience of dope that I can imagine that prospective parliamentarians will insist that in future space should be made on their application forms for "past cannabis use."
Spaced out
Failure to tick the box would lead to rejection for fear of any future embarrassing revelation that a minister might have passed through university without once sampling a joint.
It would have been refreshing to hear a minister confessing: "Oh yeah, I was spaced out for the whole of my second semester, loved the stuff, couldn't get enough, still like the odd puff when chillin' after a tough speech." But that would be to overstep the unspoken "three joints and you're out" rule. Neither should historical experimentation be mistaken for acceptance of any current proclivity. Perish the thought.
Ibble Dibble
I noticed I was scooped here by The Philanderer (aka my mate Simon Weathers - see "Three Fingers Please") in his observation that Jacqui Smith, the new Home Secretary, had partaken in the drinking game, Bunny Rabbits. I always preferred Fizz Buzz myself (but was never any good at it). Another good one was Ibble Dibble, played with a burnt cork.
We've played a few of those sessions down the Red Cow in Richmond after rugby internationals, all a long time ago, naturally. There was a stripping off and press-ups version once until the landlady intervened. Happy days.
I couldn't help noticing that there was almost a formula to every confession. Typically it was something they "tried at university", suggesting that it was a few puffs of a spliff a long time ago that now, with maturity, they realise was a mistake and rather regretted.
As each sin was washed away in the sea of public indifference you could feel the envy of colleagues who had never tried the weed. Such is the cache attached to previous experience of dope that I can imagine that prospective parliamentarians will insist that in future space should be made on their application forms for "past cannabis use."
Spaced out
Failure to tick the box would lead to rejection for fear of any future embarrassing revelation that a minister might have passed through university without once sampling a joint.
It would have been refreshing to hear a minister confessing: "Oh yeah, I was spaced out for the whole of my second semester, loved the stuff, couldn't get enough, still like the odd puff when chillin' after a tough speech." But that would be to overstep the unspoken "three joints and you're out" rule. Neither should historical experimentation be mistaken for acceptance of any current proclivity. Perish the thought.
Ibble Dibble
I noticed I was scooped here by The Philanderer (aka my mate Simon Weathers - see "Three Fingers Please") in his observation that Jacqui Smith, the new Home Secretary, had partaken in the drinking game, Bunny Rabbits. I always preferred Fizz Buzz myself (but was never any good at it). Another good one was Ibble Dibble, played with a burnt cork.
We've played a few of those sessions down the Red Cow in Richmond after rugby internationals, all a long time ago, naturally. There was a stripping off and press-ups version once until the landlady intervened. Happy days.
Labels: Bunny Rabbits, cannabis, Fizz Buzz, Home Secretary, Ibble Dibble, Jacqui Smith, Labour Party, Red Cow
posted by Richard Donkin at
9:26 AM
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