Fish and chip revival plan

If the Icelandic banks don't pay up perhaps all those English local authorities owed money (they can't say they were never warned) should send in the bailiffs. They wouldn't get much for the assets in Reykjavik although it has a nice church (Hallgrímskirkja, pictured). An administrator could probably sell the Blue Lagoon thermal springs for a tidy sum to a company such as Disney.

There are big aluminium smelting plants too but they would have to be sold as English councils know nothing about smelting. On the other hand the councils could send in their parking experts to paint a few yellow lines. The Icelanders park almost anywhere which makes them easy meat for our dedicated urban traffic wardens.

My favourite assets, however, are in the water. First there's all those salmon rivers. I would happily look after them for a small fee. Better than salmon, however, are the cod stocks. It would be a neat revenge for losing the Cod Wars and could herald a long overdue revival of fish and chip shops.

If none of the above is enough we could lay a pipeline to pump away Iceland's geothermal heat that could be redirected to the council estates of those local authorities with funds at risk. Finally they can give us back our women! But fish and chips first please.